Sarah Harding Addicts

SARAH HARDING And TOM CRANE.”
OK! magazine begins in customary fashion, screaming the names of its star turns. Those readers taking Anorak’s GCSE in OK! Studies may look for the ensuing “Compare and contrast”, “Discuss” or “Explain”.
But none is forthcoming. “SARAH HARDING and TOM CRANE” is the whole story.
And inside the magazine we get to see them being SARAH HARDING and TOM CRANE in their converted Victoria school building.
Sat on a sofa that could fill a primary school playground, we see Sarah in a silvery dress. She is lying on Crane. Her eyes are to the camera. Crane is trying to read a book.
It’s a look slightly less natural and sinister than Robert Kilroy Silk’s tan line (if you see Robert, let us know.)
The first impression is that OK! has stumped into the room and caught them unawares, Tom, perhaps spilling a drink down his shirt causing quick-thinking Sarah to lay across it lest the stain serve as a emblem of their romance.
If only OK! were less obsequious it would surely asks Tom about his book. Is it good? Who’s in it? What’s happening? Compare and contrast. Discuss. Explain.
And Tom would flick it shut and OK! would see that he’s reading Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health, or Fools Rush in by Anthea Turner, or Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship.
And then we’re in the lounge. And Sarah is holding a dog, on her lap…

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